Indifference I: Its My Birthday

“Mistakes and regrets - those are memory made”

I tried to trace back how I come be so indifference about people and things around me. I was emotional, so sensible, and so fragile – but time and circumstances that came with it vanished those feelings. I remember one particular birthday when I was in grade 12 – 2007/04/27. There was a religious ceremony held to celebrate the day. I had invited my then close friends. They were 13 in total. Amazingly, none of those close friends even bothered to call me that day.

I still remember my flooded eyes and wet pillow of that night. I couldn’t go to the college next day because I had ache in my head and heart. I couldn’t face my close friends.

That hit me so hard that I didn’t wished anyone (not only those friends) on any occasions for almost four years since. “Fake” was the only word I always heard in my head whenever those friend’s name even came to my thoughts. I used to get irritated when I met people with names that resembled those friend’s name. I still don’t feel like wishing any of those friends in any of their happy moments.

“Every activity performed by anyone – everything that happens is already written. You don’t have a choice over them”, says Krishna to Arjuna in Bhagwat Geeta. “Everything happens for a reason” is another popular line from the same holy book. May be it was god’s way to teach me a lesson. Maybe I learned, maybe not. But I changed. And maybe it was for good. I got chance to go through these words after three years after the incident happen and it took me a year to accept it. However it doesn’t mean I forgive those friends. It doesn’t matter me anymore.

The event helped me reveal and understand many facts like:

• I only existed when my friends wanted something for themselves.
• The world is selfish. I can be selfish too. But I later discovered that I can be original as well.
• Be true to self. That’s all you ever need in life.

This Quote from Mother Teresa, later inspired me to do good and be good.

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.

Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.

Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.”

God loves people not because who they are but because who “God” is.